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Have you ever found yourself calling or spending time with those who feed your self esteem, because you were hungry to be appreciated? If you’re old enough to have found this article I want to propose that you learn how to feed yourself, so you’re not love starved. There are some very good reasons not to let your self go hungry and needy, because we might find ourselves at the whim of someone who compliments us, with their own agenda in mind. Say yeah if you’ve experienced that.

Maybe just to be around them you start drinking, using drugs, language and acting in ways that don’t really feel like you. Are you feeding your own spirit or allowing them to shape you, just to be included, accepted or complimented? They may be doing the same, so why not take the lead in a positive way? You might be very surprised at the results. Everyone wants to be their best self and appreciates a hand up.

On the other hand, have you had someone in your life that seemed starved for affection? Did it eventually feel unbalanced and uncomfortable, somewhat inauthentic as a relationship, or have you attempted to become someone’s savior?

We can only truly feed our self internally and sometimes have to let go for someone else to find their own authentic self love. So let’s check in. How do I love myself. Let me count the ways. Do you hear yourself reply something like, Oh, well I was pretty crazy and awful during those times. And I have this issue and that issue, and I’m not as smart as…or as good looking as…or have as much as…

That’s not what I’m asking. Let’s stay on task. How do you LOVE yourself. Let’s COUNT the ways. Well, I do have a job. Now, if you didn’t, does that mean you’re not worth loving? Okay, so I’m a clean and neat person. That’s lovely, but if you weren’t would you feel unworthy of love? Gotcha. Here’s something; though I used to ignore my grandparents now I call them and tell them I love them and I feel good about that. But on the other hand I ignore my significant other sometimes because I’m tired from work.

Have you noticed that you are a growing, evolving, ever more consciously enlightened person with good intentions and things you want to work on? You sound human, and if God created you, in fact us all, with those same qualities, you are unconditionally loved by your Maker and thereby self loveable-worthy.

Are you willing, then, to love yourself through all mistakes (sins – an archery term meaning you missed the bullseye, so try again – re-pent)? Honor all mis-takes as your learning curve. You’re not too fat or thin to love yourself. You’re not too anything not to love yourself fully and joyously. Feed yourself daily. Perhaps an affirmation as simple as, I am a divine being; I love and respect myself at all times.

Then watch as your consciousness draws people and situations to you as your mirror that shows your reflection of how you are doing. No more dating or befriending the ones who are saying what you love to hear, ultimately just looking for a conquest or someone to fill their own loneliness. No more believing you have to do whatever, or go where someone wants you to, just to be liked and not cause any waves.

So to review, for having been born you are divinely loved without condition or judgment, therefore always worthy of self love. That is always basic, rooted and grounded. You can add on too. Note what makes you feel proud of yourself; I know you will find countless ways – and it could be doing any job to serve in some way, or cleanliness -- even small simple things count big.

And take notice of what you don’t want. Stay away from those things that don’t resonate the real you, even if they’re popular with the so-called ‘in crowd.’ You’ll feel like your own best friend BFF. Saying no either won’t stir up friction of drama as you imagined, or you’ll get to practice simply repeating softly, I appreciate your request yet I am not up for it at this time. You will feel FULL of your SELF; no longer hungry. In fact you’ll feel fulfilled and soul satisfied. What could be more delectable than feeding your soul and being home to yourself?

If you have personal questions seeking insight and guidance for your own scenarios, feel free to write requesting inspiration in the comments section and I am happy to respond to you personally.

Love from Rachel Star of Sedona

Reach interfaith minister Rachel Star of Sedona at 928-282-3444, 850-566-6698 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Follow her on facebook and twitter as Rachelspirit.  Her website is www.goddesstheway.com.  She is available for a positive, empowering Reading at either of her locations in Sedona, or by phone and skype.  Each consultation includes angelic channeling, tarot, cards of destiny, numerology, past life insight and astrology (with or without time and location of birth; horoscopes are available). Classes and individual or couples counseling is also available, as well as physical and emotional relief with Reiki or Young Living medicine-grade essential oils.

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  • Janet Kemp

    This is a wonderfully insightful article that could help the young and old alike. I enjoy following your column which is filled with your wisdom and healing advice. <br />In many instances, when I am looking for answers, I have read your words and you have improved the quality of my life, with your wisdom. You have given me the message of peace and gentleness. Thank you, Thank you, Rachel! Blessings to you!

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