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This is the title of a book by Terry Cole-Whittaker, written about 23 years ago, which brought out a great revelation and a lot of healing. Back then it was a foreign concept to our everyday way of thinking. All these years later, it is still a new truth to grasp, for many.


Generations ago, people were ‘fortunate’ fitting in to narrow standards of acceptability. Not being born to money meant you’d never be accepted in upper class status. Divorce was taboo. Why should women vote when their opinions were considered frivolous? Not being married or having children meant being less of a woman. Were you the acceptable color or religion? People hid their unpopular differences if they could. Being gay is only relatively recently out of the closet.


Then and now, if the popular kids (who fit in to narrow standards like athletic or looking a certain way) teased you at school in the comfort of their group support, because you wore glasses, were quiet, under or over the standard weight, didn’t have label clothing, etc. you may have felt badly about yourself. Maybe relatives were criticizing or not emotionally fulfilling you.


Many have grown up still carrying emotional bruises, craving a group accepting them, and maybe that group isn’t empowering each others’ spiritual enlightenment, but encouraging each other to becoming the bully, themselves, to feel empowered.


Some people may not like you because you live in integrity, honesty, and by fair rules for all. That may not be usual for them; they may be perceiving you from their belief that no one really strives to live that way; everyone is inherently cruel, so may think you believe you are high and mighty, and fake.


You may prefer to keep away from gossip, pettiness, or may not be the chatty one needing to be highly social, and part of their group, so may be taken for stuck up, instead of simply quiet and happy with your own company.


Some may start rumors about you if you don’t live at the level of their standards, when you’ve asked them nicely to play fair by the rules that are in the best interest of all, or because you are not befriending them. They may verbally abuse you in front of others, or lie behind your back, based on false evidence because they are drunk, high, hateful, ignore truth, are power hungry, or jealous and/or fearful of losing their own grip on the opportunities they realize they are not handling well.


When we don’t have the consciousness of pride in being fair and thoughtful to others, knowing there is enough for everybody, and wishing everyone great success, we have lack and fear consciousness. That will attract itself right back and fulfill what one believes.


Whatever goes on, simply remember, God knows who you are and God knows about your goodness, so speak your truth as you see it, while being considerate of others. Living in inner peace and joy, surrounded by people who mirror your consciousness, is reward.


As the old saying goes, a favorite of my uncle’s when he emails his loved ones, ‘Don’t let the bastards get you down.’ My uncle has always, and continues to, live his life with integrity, intelligence, kindness, fairness and empowerment to all. So be the best You, knowing that you are being observed by God, and those that see and appreciate who you are. You are being true to, and good to, your Spirit. The bully is not being true to their spirit.


It goes for us all that when we know better, we will do better. And we’ll feel better! It’s really not about you; it’s about their energy. We forgive because we understand the emotions that await healing within themselves, by the only one who can allow it to happen. We unconditionally love, knowing their real spirit.


Have you been allowing others’ unkind actions to affect your spirit? What they think of you is not your business. The Desiderada says…”Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others; even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.


“Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit…Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection…do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. ..Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here, …be at peace with God, whatever you conceive ‘him’ to be…In the noisy confusion of life keep peace in your soul. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. “


The yin and yang of opposite energies (up/down, long/short, etc.) show that there will always be dark and light. So live in the light and observe the dark, but don’t take it on. Another famous book is titled The Four Agreements, by don Miguel Ruiz. They are: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t Make Assumptions. Always do your best.


Love from Rachel Star of Sedona


Reach interfaith minister Rachel Star of Sedona at 928-282-3444, 850-566-6698 or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Follow her on facebook and twitter as Rachelspirit.  Her free website is where you can find daily astrological guidance.  She is available for a positive, empowering Reading in Sedona, or by phone or skype (sedonarachel).  Each consultation includes positive and empowering angelic channeling, tarot, cards of destiny, numerology, past life insight and astrology (with or without time and location of birth; and horoscopes are available). Classes and individual or couples counseling is also available, as well as physical and emotional relief with Reiki or Young Living medicine-grade essential oils.

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About our Blogger

rachel spiritInternationally-renowned Rachel Star of Sedona has been giving emotionally-healing Readings, revealing insights and instilling clarity of mind for best and highest path choices to clients for over 40 years. Heard daily and weekly on top-ten radio, featured on network television and in national magazines, she is sought by celebrities, political and spiritual influencers, and is the Readers’ Reader.

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